If nothing else, talk to them and tell them you are there if they need you!! My mother is in different position now because she is 73 and dating a 51 year old. It’s whatever now, however at a much younger age my mother allowed a man to totally abuse all of us and I wish I would have had the courage to stand up to them both. Her ridiculous choices in men have continued and I’m just pretty much done.
I’m not sure that this “something fishy” is as extreme as being a pedophile, but I’m willing to put my money on the fact that this kid has some personal problems. Because, her mom might be working something out. Isn’t it odd that her mom was 22 when she had her first child and now her kids are grown and she is picking up right where she left off. Frankly, it sounds like she lost her 20s to her ex husband.
Consider their emotional maturity and sense of responsibility. It could be a little uncomfortable or embarrassing, but if your child is unable to even discuss it with you without getting defensive or upset, take that as a sign that they probably aren’t ready. But I remember when I was 16, I went on a date with a guy from the office I was working with on my school break and he knew my age because he was in HR and dealing with my contract… And then I found out he was 29, which I knew was more than a bit creepy. And even if it’s not, it’s still very weird because the underage individual is still in high school. I think other things are more important while dating – like at what point of your life are you, what are your wishes for the relationship,…
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Maybe your partner has a kink they want you to try, and that’s great. But the basics — chemistry, sex drive, how naturally dominant or submissive your partner is — those things are pretty damn fundamental to how you’ll work as a couple. Fourth-seeded Oregon (19-13), which has won 10 straight games in the conference tournament, advances to play top-seeded UCLA in the semifinals on Friday. Washington State (17-16), the No. 5 seed, had a seven-game winning streak come to an end. Deschutes County prosecutors filed initially only the charge of strangulation in the case, on which Naylor was arraigned Thursday afternoon. “The other charges are under investigation,” District Attorney Steve Gunnels told NewsChannel 21.
She is now in her 40s and is feeling like she lost her best years because of a “whackadoodle” that she procreated with. And she feels judged by those very children she bore, and her mother. She wants a young guy that she can be “in charge” of, while still feeling attractive (who wouldn’t with a 22 year old lavishing attention on them?), and not having to feel an “empty nest”.
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It just depends if this guy is one of the 90% of men who are not abusive or the 10% who are . Something like that will get at the heart of your concerns without passing judgment on the age difference. Making mom defensive isn’t going to help in any way shape or form, but reminding her of her responsibilities and the likely behavior of teenagers might help her see reason.
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She gets to feel youthful because a young “stud” wants her. Having a resentful mom would also negatively affect him. His mom may be thinking that she has dedicated enough of her life to her three kids. 13 is old enough to understand your mother’s need for companionship.
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I may be slightly more laid back about this kind of thing because of my relationship with my mother, though. Anyway, my daughter claims she hates me for wanting to meet him. She says I’ll embarrass her, but I just don’t feel comfortable with the situation or the precedent it sets. She’s recently found this 23-year-old guy who is telling her that in a few months he’d like her to move in with him. I don’t think he knows that we WERE planning to move across the country in the next 2 years!
What concerns me is the speed the relationship is moving at. If he is truly interested in her, he will understand her need to move slowly at this point in life and that her child’s safety and comfort must come first. But I truly would not jump to the conclusion that this guy’s a pedophile. It is very likely that he is preying on this vulnerable woman, but I doubt he intends to harm a 13 year old. She doesn’t seem to have any other reason to doubt her mom’s judgment than “waaah he’s way younger and they haven’t been dating a time I feel is appropriate!